5 accurate crypto trader memes to help navigate this hellscape industry

For better or worse, crypto traders rally together under their chosen banners and fling shit for the cause. These memes help understand why.

Crypto is tribal. For better or worse, investors, traders, and spectators rally together under their chosen banners and fling shit for the cause.

Bitcoin maximalists can’t stand Ethereum nerds, DeFi degens consider Satoshi Nakamoto a dumb boomer, and no-coiners are convinced they’re all equally wrong.

Luckily, there’s a new meme strain flowing around Crypto Twitter™ that helps differentiate the various brands of commentators you’ll meet while navigating this hellscape.

Look deep within yourself. Do you identify with any of these?

‘Big funds are in this crypto, I must buy’

Crypto markets are incredibly fussy and based almost entirely on the whims of over-leveraged arbitrage monkeys.

This makes it monstrously difficult for your average pleb to time entries and exits. In fact, a stubborn influencer industry thrives on Twitter for this very reason.

Those who can’t stomach the burden of buying and selling crypto with their own brain can follow chart-making gurus and on-chain savants — who dish up trading tips by weighing which bags they need to offload next.

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‘Le slurp’

NFT markets are big news ever since Justin Sun and some other guy locked themselves in an arbitrary $69 million bidding war over Beeple’s laziest work on record.

Now, rather than shop the shadiest crypto exchanges for pointless cryptocurrencies, speculators trawl NFT marketplaces like OpenSea for their next lottery ticket.

This has birthed a new crypto term: “the floor,” referring to the lowest priced NFT in a collection (often zoological profile pictures that double as glue for a desperate community of bagholders).

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Decentralization is a spectrum

Bitcoin was built with decentralization in mind. Nakamoto’s game was to build a global cash system that eliminated third parties — minimizing trust.

Only one thing: the market couldn’t care less about decentralization. Blockchains reboot, rollback, and rely on fewer individuals to manage billions of dollars than can fit in one Kia Sedona.

Sycophantic allegiance to decentralization doesn’t make you rich. So, do you wanna be right or do you wanna make money?

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Read more: [Jay Pegs Auto Mart: LARP meets NFT inside a 2007 Kia Sedona]

This won’t age well

An unwritten law of Crypto Twitter™ goes that if you show any conviction about anything at all, a REMINDOOOR will appear and tag a bot to remind them of your tweet somewhere down the line.

“His worst nightmare is forgetting that someone was wrong online two years ago.”

Luckily, they never forget to set reminders.

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The crypto future is multichain

Blockchains these days fall into two categories: Ethereum killers and interoperability projects that latch onto Ethereum and its many killers for clout.

So, many folk believe the future is “multichain,” in which fumbling with dozens of different tokens every day on the impending-but-never-arriving Web 3.0 is totally normal and not frustratingly pointless.

Either way, the longer you spend in crypto, the more likely it is you’ll run into the Multichainooor.

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There’s an OOOOOR for all of us

You might not identify with any of these. If you truly don’t see the resemblance: this is but a small selection. 

There’s loads more characters in this Twitter thread, maybe you’ll show up in there.

In any case, we’ll leave you with this:

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